Finding my Character

First iteration of my main character.

Have you ever been a little too stubborn for your own good? I confess, its one of my worst qualities. I am stubborn to the point of making myself anxious. What that means is sometimes I choose not to see something that is right in front of me and super obvious. I believe something so it must be true, right?

Here’s an example.

I’ve been drawing, reworking and revising a story for a few years now and I believe in this story. It has heart and humor which are two things that always draw me in as a reader. I kept working at the writing and the sketches, but when it came time to do the final art samples I just couldn’t get out of the mindset that it HAD TO BE IN MY STYLE (whatever that stupid word means anyways). The paintings weren’t bad. Everyone liked them that I showed them to. They were good stand alone paintings. One problem… They didn't match the tone of the story.

And I knew it.

But people liked the paintings. Surely the marketplace would bend to MY STYLE and we’d be able to sell the project because the painting wasn’t bad. My logic here is skewed… and again, I knew it… but I didn’t want to budge.

I wouldn’t let go of MY STYLE. I finally kind of hit a comfortable place where my work has a look and I was pretty happy with it. I was terrified of the idea of breaking through and playing in anything that looks different. Which, tangent: is the problem with “style”. It barricades you in and stops you from a creative journey that can be absolutely eye opening.

A few weekends ago I had a written and face to face critique with Jessica Anderson of Christy Ottaviano books and something in her notes clicked. She said what I had been thinking about the final art all along. This wasn't my first time having it in front of an editor, but this was the first time someone clearly spoke what was swirling in the back of my mind. She said that the paintings were a bit muddy and didn’t have the exciting linework that made the dummy book so marketable. (i’m paraphrasing here, but that’s the meat of her comments on my art style).

I had a little time so I decided to rework a piece that I had already done.

I redid it 5 times.

Each time I got a little closer, but my stubbornness wouldn’t let me fully embrace giving the character what he needed. I had to really listen to who he was and what he needed to be for the story.

Finally, after all those trial and errors I came up with something I felt like fit my character’s personality. He’s a woodpecker with some self awareness issues but a lot of heart. Here are the before and after images of my little birdie character. Hopefully you feel a sense of joy, humor and heart looking at the newest version!

How the character looks today!

New Book! My First Interactive Mass Book

It’s out in the world now! I worked on 60+ illustrations with Ascension Press last summer and they've all been put together to create “ My First Interactive Mass Book”. I’m really proud of how this book came out and I love all the fun little activities in the book. There’s a wheel to spin and some lift the flaps, plus a few other little surprises. If you have catholic kids, get your hands on one! You can order it here!

Portfolio Truths

Just keep working!

Yesterday I was able to virtually attend SCBWI Central California’s Artworks Sessions. All SCBWI events are currently online due to the pandemic. I think we all prefer meeting in person, but the nice thing about Zoom meetings is that people from all over the world can attend and usually for a fraction of what a conference and travel/hotel fees would cost.

About 35 illustrators met with Marissa Moss of Creston Books. She’s an editor and also an illustrator herself. She has a keen eye and he books she publishes are GORGEOUS. Much of it is the kind of work I want to do.

My main takeaway from the day was how concise and meaty her presentations were. She gave us a tangible list of what she looks for in a portfolio. I won’t share those here because it is part of her presentation and therefore I don’t want to take away from possible future speaking events.

What I will share is what her takeaway was from MY online portfolio. The one here, just a few clicks away. She said: My work is charming. There are lots of nice pieces. But, BUT… there isn’t a lot of variety. All the points of view are similar. All the distances from the reader are similar. How would an editor know I could carry a full book she said. She wanted to see different moods and emotions. Let me tell you, it stung. It sat burning in my belly for a few hours later.

That is how I knew she was right.

That is how I know I care enough about my work to keep working. To PROVE I can do better. I know I can draw those things… and I have. But I am not showcasing them properly. After I calmed down with my sketchbook and started drawing I came up with some new ideas for some new portfolio pieces. I’m excited about them and I chose subject matter I love to draw so hopefully I get hired for work like that.

It might be a bit of a slow go of it, as I am currently working on a board book with Ascension Press that I cannot wait to share! But I will get there. Here are some truths that I’ve noticed on my slow build into publishing:

1. Usually if a comment hurts and it’s constructive, its true.

2. The work will never ever be perfect, but that’s what makes it so fun. The journey of improvement and looking at how far I’ve come is quite satisfying.

3. This business really is subjective and even the best artists hear ‘no’ all the time. ‘No’ is a dirty word in our culture, but it shouldn’t be. In this case it should be a motivator.

4. Feeling crappy about your work means you care. It means you’re willing to put the very best of yourself out there and that you want to make work that means something to someone. Keep working at it! I guarantee it means something to many people already.

5. “The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know” - Albert Einstein

Stay safe and healthy.
xo Candace

Happy News: Winning the Don Freeman Grant

From the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators website.

I wrote a story about an octopus. I emailed a group of fellow writer/illustrators and we formed a critique group. I revised that octopus story. Then, I applied for a grant… and Won? Yeah… WON!

Last year I applied for one of many grants offered through the SCBWI called the Don Freeman Grant. (If you don’t recognize his name, you probably still know his books. Does a little bear named Corduroy ring a bell?)

The grant is offered in a published and pre-published category. (I applied to the published category. If you’re interested in applying, you can see the requirements on the website) It’s a work-in-progress grant for illustrators, as described by the SCBWI, “ Don Freeman was a renowned illustrator and an early supporter of SCBWI. He established this award to enable picture book illustrators to further their understanding, training, and work in the picture book genre.”

After working on my submission and making sure it had all the required elements, I attached my PDF in an email, sent a little wish into the universe, and hoped for the best. Imagine my surprise when several months later, Sarah Baker, Associate Executive Director of the SCBWI called and told me I’d won a grant! I’ve been a member of the SCBWI for a long time. Since 2008 to be exact. I’ve entered a lot of awards and always with the knowledge that there is a ton of talent out there. I mean, like, TONS! I always go into contests with optimistic hope and as little expectation as possible. Hearing the news made me get teary-eyed, and I’m pretty sure I said, “thank you” 400 times like a lunatic. What still strikes me every time I think about it, is that three judges chose my story and pictures, that came out of my mind, heart and hands. It’s nice to win a little money. Some I’ve partially squirreled away for a future national conference and some I’ve spent on some more supplies. What is worth the most to me is the validation that hard work can pay off.

(In case you’re interested, the judges this year were: agent Molly O’Neill, art director Maria T. Middleton and author/illustrator Corey Tabor)

Since hearing the news, I’ve been working on my story and getting ready to submit to agents. I’m very close to starting to query. Hopefully in the next months I will have more happy news to share. I also hope that my little octopus story finds a way to your local bookstore shelf in the future!

Stuff in my Stash: Graduation Season Nostalgia

I have a problem with keeping things. As in, I keep too many things. I know it’s not en Vogue to be a collector thanks in part to minimalism, Joanna Gaines’ farmhouse chic aesthetic and Marie Kondo’s brutal logic on joy. I’m a pack rat. I keep a lot of things that don’t bring me joy and simplicity doesn’t always resonate with me. I’ve found that feelings are as fleeting as decoration trends, so I guess I’ll keep holding onto things that at least once brought me joy or some other strong favorable feeling. I’d like to start writing about some of the things I find. As a visual person, an object/image can transport us to a specific time and feeling.

My first entry is a photograph.

Today I am rifling through mixed tubs of high school and college ephemera that are equal parts embarrassing and sentimental. I came across a photograph. I’m standing in front of Fountain Street Church in downtown Grand Rapids, Michigan and I have just spoken in front of a few thousand people. I had graduated as Valedictorian and as a reward they asked me to prepare a speech for my classmates, teachers and everyone else in attendance. As an artist and a bit of an introvert, it seems they ought to give that role to the kid who placed dead last as a punishment. Never mind, that kid won’t show up, and they know those of us who worked as hard as our bodies and minds would allow aren’t going to skip graduation just because of glossophobia. So I spoke, and when I was done, I was met by family. Someone took this picture.

May 5, 2007 Graduating from Kendall College in Grand Rapids, MI. 

Today, roughly 12 years later, I noticed two things about the photograph:

First, my face. A lovely mixture of relief and joy. I mean, I had just spoken in front of all those people. Past tense. Only minutes past, but I had survived it. The same goes for my BFA in illustration. I had walked into this college a handful of years earlier completely intimidated by the things hanging on the walls around me. I was scared walking in but after all those classes and finally finding a place where I felt most myself, I was proud to have done the work. I was walking out as a good student and growing artist. I had also met some enormously talented people and made relationships that I still cherish.

Second, my hands gripping that diploma. It’s like they know this is just the beginning. It’s like they are saying, ‘hold on, this is going to be an insane ride’. It’s like they know being a professional freelance artist is an exercise in patience, self flagellation and a TON of rejection. My face doesn’t know it, but my hands do. Look at those white knuckles.

If I had known how hard this life as an artist was going to be, I’m not sure my young self would have chosen it. Which is one reason why I’m glad we aren’t able to see the future. Stepping out of graduation I told myself I would just keep doing my best every day and it would be enough. And it is enough. I just didn’t know that 12 years down the road I would still consider myself an illustrator breaking into the industry. (Did I mention not seeing the future is a blessing?) I’ve gotten to do some amazing projects with some truly special people, but I’m still working at this career and trying to be the very best version of myself as an artist (and person too. Admittedly, not always successfully)

At mass the other Sunday, the Deacon gave a homily and reflected, “hard is just the human experience”. Such a simple sentence. Such a TRUTHFUL sentence. But isn’t hard what makes it worth trying? The fun is in the trying, in the ‘what if?’, in the small victories within the larger battle. I prefer a 1000 piece puzzles to 24 piece puzzles for that very reason. The hundreds of mini victories that paint a much larger picture. Why wouldn’t the same be true for life or work?

I look at the picture again and I see hope too. Hope for a future where I can share my artwork and it will resonate with someone.

At this very moment, when I distill what I’m really doing with my degree as an artist, my goal is to bring joy and spark curiosity in others. If I can inspire someone to read or draw the way other artists and illustrators have inspired me, that’s more than enough for me to continue down this crazy ride.

Beaverdale Farmers Market Logo

I was honored to create a new logo for the Beaverdale Farmers Market this year! My immediate family has been a big part of making it happen since the very first year and we decided to refresh the logo. I’m really excited to see all the marketing materials come in as we order them. We’ll have a park bench, tent, flags, posters, t-shirts and more. I’ll be sure to share images of them once I see them and snap a picture!

Color Your Own Ornament!

A fun little project for yourself or to give to a friend! Click on image to go to my Facebook page and download!

I want to see what you do, so make sure to tag me on social media! (and use the hashtag #camlingstudiochristmas.)

Book Signing!

If you're in Central Iowa, I'd love to see you at my book signing! I also have this information listed in my EVENTS tab at the top of the page!

Feature on the Kidlit Artists Blog!

Meridth and I meeting in person for the first time. SCBWI LA Summer conference 2015.

The wonderful Meridth McKean Gimbel interviewed me about being a stay-at-home mom and running a freelance illustration business. You can read the article HERE. 

I loved talking to Meridth and we've been fans of each other for about 10 years now! It was a treat to meet her at two separate SCBWI LA conferences.